When I arrived yesterday evening after rushing from work on hearing my fiancé’s crying voice, my mother-in-law to be motioned us to her. She warned us what the doctor had said. He had days, weeks or months left. The doctor said DO NOT show any sad emotion in front of him. If we’re sad, it must not be expressed in front of him. We got to Bed 12, and my fiancé took one look at his Dad and swiftly walked away to stifle a sob. After gaining composure, he came back to his bedside and greeted his father as cheerfully as he could. I cannot begin to imagine the pain he had to go through. Upon seeing him, my heart cried scanning his arms and hands and found needles sticking in from various points all at once. He looked so pale and exhausted that I felt compelled to do something. Anything. I felt so helpless.
Nana arrived at the same time with us, but Ajim was already there. Aie and the twins couldn’t make it that evening because of the traffic in Shah Alam, and it was nearing the end of the visiting hours. My family was informed. Papa prayed from Rawang, with a promise to visit the next day. Mama and Ayah wanted to come visit but it was too late for them to come. Visiting hours had expired.
My fiancé’s uncle came with his family, and it started to get crowded. His dad was keeping a brave front for everyone. It was apparent that he did not want people to see how sick he was. Forcing himself to smile and entertain his visitors, I knew it was a Herculean feat. Again, my heart ached to think about his pain.
A nurse walked by and announced that visiting hours has ended… half-heartedly, we kissed him goodbye, and walked out of the hospital with lead in our hearts, and tears in our eyes… each to his or her own thoughts…
Raja Azaham Raja Adnan, we love you…
